Wednesday, August 25, 2010
A friend of mine just started his own business making land mines that look like prayer mats. It’s doing well, he says… prophets are going through the roof.
(Thank you Dick Inwood for continuously making me laugh out loud!)
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors [...]
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer [...]
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t!
I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don’t take life too seriously; no one [...]
As our politicians break for the summer without having accomplished a whole lot in Parliament, I am reminded of this gem:
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a [...]
A Canadian taxpayer died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on [...]
Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Kitchener Record and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, ”Sorry, fellers, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.”
Curtis & Leroy replied, “Well, then just give us our money back..” [...]
President Barack Obama, and former Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton were traveling by car in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them many miles away. They fall into a daze.
When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they’re in [...]
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The following amusing story
can be found in the publication
By George Treasury.
A guy is driving around the back woods of northern Ontario and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in [...]
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
The Mafia is laying [...]